tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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