The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
