just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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