I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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