Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
