So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
