i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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