I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
