Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
