Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
