I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
