I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
