ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
