oh god the rape fog is back!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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