you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
