I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
