no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
