Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
