I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
