im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
