wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize