Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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