i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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