I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
