we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The adults are the big ones right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
