The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize