Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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