Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The Olympian is in my bed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
