a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was CRYING into my vagina
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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