You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The air taste purple.
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