Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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