im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
