I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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