Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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