You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
