I looked at my own cervix.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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