You're so nebulous sometimes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize