Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
