Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize