Buhtt sex?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
