I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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