I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
