I'm really into asian looking animals
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
