You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
