you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
