note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Alive.
So much puke
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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