I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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