just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize