Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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