Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
