Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
