im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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