how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
