she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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