I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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