Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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