Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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