every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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