he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
