I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
