she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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