Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize