Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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