well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize