I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
