I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
