i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
