So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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