he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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